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Hims & Hers' Q3 Results: Is This Analyst Just Talking His Own Book?
Alright, let's cut through the crap, shall we? Another quarter, another batch of earnings reports, and another "analyst" – and I use that term loosely, folks – trying to convince us that everything's just peachy keen. This time, it’s Hims & Hers (HIMS), and their Q3 results dropped earlier this month, leading to an analysis titled Hims & Hers Stock: The Growth Story Is Outside GLP-1s (NYSE:HIMS) by our intrepid former Fidelity advisory rep, now a "professional investor" on Seeking Alpha, who is here to check if his "long-term buy thesis was intact." Give me a break...
You gotta love the transparency, though. This guy straight up admits he has "a beneficial long position in the shares of HIMS either through stock ownership, options, or other derivatives." See that? That ain't an analyst; that's a cheerleader with a vested interest. He's not just reporting; he's pleading with the market gods, trying to manifest a recovery for his own damn holdings. It's like a gambler at the blackjack table, down a grand, suddenly declaring, "No, really, this next hand? I feel it. It's a winner. Trust me." Except he's trying to convince you to put your chips down too. The sheer audacity of framing this as "research" is almost admirable, in a perverse kind of way. What, you think we can't see the sweat beading on his brow as he types, praying his "thesis" holds up before his HIMS shares turn into a pile of confetti?
The "Long-Term" Illusion and Other Fairy Tales
He talks about "value investing, an owner's mindset, and a long-term horizon." And he makes sure to tell us he "doesn't write sell articles as those are considered short theses, and I never recommend shorting." Well, isn't that convenient? So, his "analysis" is pre-determined to only ever find reasons to buy or hold. That's not analysis; that's confirmation bias dressed up in a fancy suit. It's like a doctor who only prescribes happy pills, regardless of the diagnosis. "Oh, you've got a broken leg? Here's some Prozac! You'll feel better about that long-term recovery, I promise."
Let's be real, when a stock has taken "quite a tumble," the first thing you're checking isn't the integrity of your thesis; it's the balance of your brokerage account. The whole "growth story is outside GLP-1s" angle in the article title? That just screams "distraction." It's like your house is on fire, and you're pointing out that the shed in the backyard is still standing. Great, but what about the actual house, the one everyone's watching burn? We're supposed to ignore the obvious financial bleed because... there's a different potential growth vector? Maybe. Or maybe it's just a desperate pivot, a shiny object to distract from the reality that the stock ain't doing so hot. And honestly, who's really gonna trust an "analyst" who openly admits he's got skin in the game and only writes buy recommendations? It makes you wonder, doesn't it? What if he's wrong? What then? Does he just... stop writing?
The Unspoken Truth of Wall Street's Echo Chamber
This whole thing smells like a classic case of Wall Street's self-serving echo chamber. You've got guys who bought into a stock, it starts to tank, and suddenly they're churning out "research" to shore up their own positions, hoping to lure in new buyers to prop up the price. It's not about providing objective insight; it's about managing their own losses. They expect us to believe this nonsense, and honestly... it's insulting to anyone with half a brain.
Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here. Maybe this former advisory representative really does have a crystal ball and a heart of gold, only ever wanting to share his infallible wisdom. But my gut, that cynical old friend, tells me this is less about helping you and more about helping himself. This ain't independent research; it's a sales pitch with a disclosure attached. And for my money, you're better off ignoring anyone who tells you they've got a "long-term buy thesis intact" right after the stock's gone to hell. It's like watching a chef declare his souffle "perfectly risen" even as it collapses in the oven. You can say it all you want, pal, but the evidence is right there, staring us in the face.
