Alright, alright, alright. So, everyone's suddenly Mr. Positive Pants because Bitcoin wobbled back up to $90k? Give me a freakin' break. We were promised Lambos and early retirement last time, and all I got was a lighter wallet and a newfound appreciation for instant ramen.
"Experts" Predict Bitcoin Utopia (Again). Yawn.
The "Experts" Are Back, Baby!
Now, all these "analysts" are crawling out of the woodwork again, huh? Spouting the same tired lines about "market corrections" and "accumulation phases." It's like clockwork. They pump the hopium until the next rug pull. Remember Arthur Hayes? The guy's basically crypto's Nostradamus, except instead of predicting the future, he's just really good at selling you false hope. He's saying Bitcoin "found its floor" at $80k. Oh, really, Arthur? And I suppose you have a crystal ball next to your stack of Bitcoin?
Arthur Hayes Says Bitcoin Found Its Floor, Meaning BTC Bottomed at $80,000 Last Week.
Hayes says the Fed ending QT and banks increasing lending means BTC is "ready to build higher from here." Okay, boomer. Last time I checked, the Fed was about as reliable as a politician's promise.
And don't even get me started on Lark Davis. That dude's been shilling crypto harder than a used car salesman on a Saturday morning. Now he's saying some pro-crypto dude named Kevin Hassett might replace Powell as Fed Chair, and suddenly it's gonna be raining Bitcoin? Please.
Altcoins: "Rebounding" or Just Delaying the Inevitable Doom?
Altcoin Shenanigans: Proceed With Extreme Caution
Oh, and the altcoins? They're "rebounding from support with 2x-5x potential into year-end"? Yeah, right. More like "rebounding from the depths of despair before plummeting back into the abyss." Gigachad? Algorand? PAAL AI? AIXBT? GRIFFAIN? Sounds like a bunch of made up names to me. I'm sure there are some legit projects in there, but let's be real: most of these things are just vehicles for insiders to get rich while the rest of us hold the bag.
These "analysts" are pointing to "stable technical behavior" and "early stages of potential trend formation." It's all just tea leaf reading, people. I mean, come on—are we really still falling for this crap?
Speaking of crap, Nasdaq wants to quadruple the options limits for that IBIT ETF? They claim it's because Bitcoin's a "mega-cap asset" now. I say it's because they want to make even MORE money off our backs. Vincent Liu from Kronos Research thinks higher limits could "narrow bid-ask spreads and enhance market efficiency." Translation: "We can squeeze even more juice out of this lemon."
Bitcoin Updates: Bitcoin Receives Major-Cap Status as Nasdaq Increases Options Limits Fourfold
Litecoin: Still Kicking? Or Just Twitching?
LTC: Still a Thing?
And Litecoin? Seriously? People are still trading that dinosaur? Apparently, traders are watching the $85 support level for a "new move setup." The daily chart shows a "mixed close," whatever that means. The goal is $96, apparently. Good luck with that. Honestly, I'm not sure what’s more pathetic; Litecoin's price action, or the fact that people are still trying to make money off of it. But hey, who am I to judge? I’m just sitting here, ranting into the void.
Fool Me Once...
Look, I'm not saying crypto is dead. It's just… I'm tired of the hype. Tired of the empty promises. Tired of watching people lose their shirts chasing moonshots. So, yeah, maybe this is a "relief rally." Maybe Bitcoin will hit $100k by Christmas. But don't come crying to me when it all comes crashing down again. You've been warned.
I'm Staying Bitter
