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Hims & Hers Q3 Report: More Like Hype & Hustle?
Alright, let's get this straight. Hims & Hers, the online "health and wellness" platform, is bragging about a 49% revenue jump in their Q3 report? Give me a break.
The Numbers Game
Nearly $600 million in revenue. Adjusted EBITDA of over $78 million. Subscribers up 21%. Sounds fantastic, right? Like they're curing cancer and making everyone beautiful.
But let's dig a little deeper, shall we? Their gross margin dropped from 79% to 74%. And net income? Yeah, it's $15.8 million, but last year it was $75.6 million. They try to blame it on some tax benefit in 2024, offcourse. Convenient.
They're selling the dream of personalized care, but are they really personalizing anything, or just pushing product? I mean, "broadening access to personalized care that can increasingly serve customers across a wider range of needs"... that's straight outta the corporate bingo playbook. What does that even mean?
And subscribers are up... but how many are actually using the service consistently? How many sign up, grab a discount, and then disappear?
The Novo Nordisk Tease
Oh, and they're "in active discussions" with Novo Nordisk to sell Wegovy. Wegovy! The weight loss drug everyone's obsessed with. Talk about chasing the trend. According to Are you a robot?, Hims & Hers shares rose on the news of these talks.
"Advancing consumer options and pursuant to prescriber recommendation." Translation: "We want in on the weight loss craze, and we'll slap a 'personalized care' label on it to make it sound ethical."
But here's the kicker: "no definitive agreement has been executed... and there is a possibility that no definitive agreement may ever be executed." So, it's all just talk. Hype. Smoke and mirrors. They're dangling the possibility of Wegovy to get investors excited, but it might not even happen.
It's like saying, "We might win the lottery. Invest now!"
I swear, sometimes I think these companies are just playing us for fools. Promise the moon, deliver a pebble, and then blame the tides.
Wait, what was I even talking about? Oh yeah, Hims & Hers. I keep getting distracted by the neighbor's yappy dog. It's like they can sense I'm trying to concentrate and just decide to go nuts. Anyway...
The "Global Brand" Delusion
CEO Andrew Dudum is quoted as saying they're "making significant progress in establishing Hims & Hers as a truly global brand."
A global brand? Seriously? Last time I checked, they were still mostly focused on selling hair loss pills and ED meds in the US. How many people in, say, Uzbekistan are clamoring for Hims & Hers? I'm gonna guess... not many.
Maybe I'm just being cynical. Maybe they are revolutionizing healthcare. Maybe they will become a global brand.
Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here.
So, What's the Real Story?
It's the same old song and dance. Promise everything, deliver the bare minimum, and hope the investors don't notice. Until they actually do something truly innovative, it's all just hype and hustle.